I stopped apologizing

Years ago I decided to stop apoloizing… for the condition of my house, that is.

I was a young Mom at the time & went to the home of a friend who had a

gorgeous house that was “magazine” perfect. But throughout out time together

she continually interjected apologies for this and “sorry about that” and fusssed

around putting “junk” away.

Hmm, not only was her house nicer than most people I knew, but her “junk”

would’ve put most of my nicer things to shame.   And if she thought her

beautiful home was “a mess” then she better not EVER come to my house.

sigh

That was it. I decided on that day that I would NOT do this to anyone else.

My house is the best I can do with the time & resources God’s given us.

People will always be MORE important than “stuff”  and my house serves

our needs… we don’t serve it.

So, when I’m tempted to relapse and start apologizing I remind myself that:

1. My house is a gift (& I totally LOVE it, by the way)

2. It serves me, not vise versa

3. People are my priority

4. Vain “apologies” are really selfish complaints

5.  I don’t ever want to make someone feel uncomfortable

6. A gracious hostess is far more noticeable than a few dusty corners

Right?

 

16 thoughts on “I stopped apologizing

  1. This is awesome. I think I’m going to print this and put it on my fridge. I am extremely guilty of apologizing for my house! Thanks for speaking to my heart…again. 😉

    I love you for that!!! I need to make a list of all the ways you’ve spoken to me over the past couple of years (that you probably don’t even realize) and send it to you.

    You are a blessing.

    Love you!
    -J

  2. YES! Love this post. I alway get so worked up about the state of my house, but I’ve been trying to not be so concerned before people come over. I’ will definitely stop apalogizing.

  3. I had a friend once thank me for welcoming her into my messy house cause her house was always messy and she thought as a result that she couldn’t have people over. But after coming into my house, she reliezed that she could have people into her house too.

  4. You’re house is SO cute! Well, the parts I saw of it!! so I am very sure that the rest was too!

    Great post!

    If you invite people you love into your home and that love you, there is no need for an apology!

  5. I LOVE this! YES! I feel very uncomfortable when people apologize about their homes. It makes me feel like they would have prferred if I hadn’t come.

    I try to act like I don’t mind or notice at ALL having a missing drawer in the kitchen or a big red kool aid stain on the carpet, even though I am constantly wondering what people are thinking about it.

  6. Wow – so convicting for me! I am a bit OCD when it comes to my house – more because it’s therapeutic for me to clean when I’m stressed than anything… But I never thought about how my perfectionism might make someone else feel when they come in. 🙁 We love to have guests over and want our home to always be welcoming! Guess this is something I really need to work on!!

  7. I love this. I decided a few years ago, as I grew into mothering a whole clan of children, that I wouldn’t obsess about the way my house looks. I want it to be clean, but if it is always organized, my priorities are out of order. I resented my mom for years, because the only time we spent with her was cleaning (or being told to clean, or getting fussed at for not having things clean). She was unable to let us do things like paint, or play with play-do, or get dirty outside. I know that I may have to sacrifice the magazine perfect home, but I gain fun memories with my children. I am totally okay with that trade-off.

  8. Wow…soooo true! As a young mother, that’s something I need to learn — it’s more important that I spent time with my little girl and build a strong relationship with her than to have a spotless house!

  9. I tend to apologize when anyone comes, because with 6 kids (5 have special needs) our house is always a disaster. Your post reminds me that I should focus on being thankful for the people I love and not worry about the cleaning I don’t have time for. Thank you.

  10. This is great. I’m working on doing the same. More often I make statements now. The house is a mess. We are busy. But I also believe that people didn’t come to see my house; they came to see us. And if they didn’t, they probably won’t return. 🙂

  11. Thanks for this, I too have felt uncomfortable when someone with an immaculate house complains about their mess, because my house is always a bit messy, not horribly dirty but messy and cluttered, I am working on improving my house so I am not embarrassed to welcome people in my house but maybe I should not worry about it as much as I thought! Thanks again!

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