If you’ve been around me at all, you know that I’m not shy.. or timid… or
even remotely quiet. Nope. Not at all. Usually I can talk to anyone and
find great pleasure in getting a “don’t-talk-to-me” kinda person to start
talking… and extra points if I can get them to smile.
(Like the somewhat-cranky ol farmer at Eastern Market who sells the yummiest
sweet corn… it’s taken me two years, but this past Saturday I got him
to smirk slightly and then kindly wish me “nice weekend!” YES!)
But circumstances in life can smack us in the face and knock the confidence
right out from under us. It’s then that I can sometimes be tempted to just
quiet down & be more timid. But really, those are the moments when I must
face this question:
Did my confidence come from myself? or
Does my confidence come from my relationship with Jesus?
Sometimes it’s not the earth shattering things in life that mess with us, but
rather the smaller things that wanna play with our heads. I’m walking
through a few of those situations, and I’ve certainly winced in moments of temptation…
moments where I wanted to pull away,
stop being friendly & just close up my heart,
be overly cautious (aka fearful),
be too calculated about friendships & discipleship,
let my courage melt a little (aka be timid)
think about myself,
second guess the “outgoing-ness” that makes me vulnerable,
be what I am NOT created to be simply because it feels safer.
It’s not safer. It’s horrible to be something/someone that God did NOT make
me to be simply because I’m afraid. Giving into fear means I’m
not trusting Jesus.
*When our car is stolen out of our driveway & a check stolen from our front porch,
I will not ponder all the “what if’s.” I will remind myself of God’s calling, protection
& purpose for our lives.
* When dear friends move away, I will not shut my heart to current & new friends
because of the “fear of losing another friend.” (If I do shut out people then I’ve
already lost them)
*If my scale says something that makes me wanna cry, I will continue to do
my best, smile & love people. Self-consciousness only makes me ugly.
I will NOT cave into to any of these timid thoughts. They quickly take over and
gain power over me. It says that so plainly is 2 Peter 2:19 (The Voice)
—— “Whatever you give in to will soon become your master.”
Instead, I will give into the overwhelming, undeserved love & acceptance
of Jesus Christ! I let go of fears & the damaging thoughts that go with them.
Jesus is my BEST friend. I will think about Him, read His Words, listen to Him,
talk to Him & give into Him. He’s my Master.