Pain & Death… what a difficult topic.
Yesterday’s post was about what to say, or NOT to say.
(Probably more of you have some insight to share on that topic)
Today let’s talk about AFTER the funeral…
weeks & months after!
These are things that meant a lot to me
long after my Dad died
or else they’re things that I try to do
for friends who have lost
someone dear. Just my experiences. Please, add your’s.
– Send a card Waaaay after the funeral & actually write something in it besides
your name. Memory. What you’ve been praying for them, etc…
– PRAY… grief takes time & they still need weeks later
– Sharing a memory or picture of the lost loved one with their family.
Knowing that other people still thought of my Dad months later was
a wonderful encouragement.
– Send another card/note on the anniversary of the person’s death.
It sounds weird, but the family never really forgets that date. Having
someone else remember it, too… huge comfort.
– Hug. Often. (My friend Chris mentioned this on yesterday’s post)
– Keep in mind that grief kinda messes with thoughts. Your hurting
friend might not be themselves for a while. Slower to process info.
Forgetful. Quick to jump to conclusions. Quiet. Extra chatty.
Whatever the case…Be kind & patient.
– Listen. Don’t tell them how they feel or worse yet, how they
should feel. Just listen & pray with them. Cry. Hug. Listen.
(But only when they wanna talk. Don’t be pushy)
– Include them. Grief doesn’t mean you wanna sit home & cry.
Invite your friend to join you as you do something normal but fun.
(Like taking a walk, running out for a coffee, going to the library,
community/church clean-up day, etc…) Don’t put expectations
on them, just invite’um and enjoy their company, even if they’re quiet.
-Smile. Give Hugs. Give Chocolate… seriously. Why not give little gifts
on occasion to show them that you’re thinking of them while you’re
out & about.
If you’ve walked or are walking down the complex but necessary road
of grief and have some wisdom & practical advice you’d like to share…
[box] “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3,4[/box]